A few weeks ago, I had
a conversation with friends about the difference between what it means to “be
invited” and “to invite”. It was a thoughtful discussion that helped me to clarify
the two nuanced yet powerful sides of an invitation.
When we are invited –
to a conversation or event… even a relationship – the host is affirming our
presence as important and our value as an enhancement to the experience. In addition to being a compliment, it’s an assurance
that, if and when we show up, we will be welcomed. Professionally and
personally, we often seek invitations to validate ourselves in some way.
Yet while invitations
are most often positive and affirming, acceptance is not as easy. What if you
don’t know the host? What if you don’t know how you got on the guest list? And
one thing you can be sure of…most often, when you are invited…the agenda has
already been set.
When we invite others
to an experience it means that we are not only extending the positive
affirmations listed above, but also that we have something to share. It’s a selective
and self-centered perspective, in which we, as the host, determine that a
specific presence is needed.
It’s also risky. What
if no one accepts? What if the only ones who come are the ones who needed no
invitation? What does an unaccepted invitation mean or say about you or your
intent?
When it comes to serving
our community we've got to be willing to do more of both – issuing invitations
and accepting those that come. When we do we acknowledge the need to seek and
receive a perspective not our own. As we get better at both inviting and
accepting, the circles we inhabit become larger and larger. We see more, learn more, grow more and create
more.
And go more places. Together.
