Like many, I regard beautiful gardens as works of art. My comfort with the earth was incubated early on: at the age of six, I plowed the dirt to fill 36-ounce Maxwell House cans with worms for my grandparents' fishing forays; at 5¢ per can it kept me well stocked in candy! When I wasn't terrorizing worms or picking produce from their "backyard" (a 3-acre field) I labored at home, side by side with my mother, and witnessed the earthen beauty that could come from hard work and constant attention. Although secretly thrilled when friends, neighbors and passersby provided compliments, I groused the whole time, never suspecting that I was being subliminally seduced by nature's captivating ecosystem.
Truth be told, I've always been a reluctant gardener and, despite my history, have had inconsistent relationships with the soil that I have called my own. There are legitimate reasons for this, including concrete-filled urban settings; hostile, unforgiving soil and demanding jobs and travel schedules. Yet in the past few years, I increasingly find myself on my knees, up to my elbows, wresting with my terrain to produce flora and more recently food. And I don't know why!
Let me be honest. I do not find gardening therapeutic. I perspire plenty enough without placing myself in Atlanta's brutal summer heat. I've got a tricky back. I don't particularly like dirt under my nails, and I shiver at bugs and yes, even worms (oh the things we will do for money!). I'm blessed to be in a region still very green and to have the resources to have visited landscapes near and far.
So I've searched my soul to figure out what now makes me so eager and excited about the hard work, joy and pain, and never-ending expense that gardening entails…what it is that keeps me in the dirt.
Why do I dig?
· I dig for the beauty…aesthetic delight for my sense and sensibilities. So much of this world is ugly but I have never been so desolate, so taxed, so removed that the touch or smell or feel of a flower cannot elevate me.
· I dig for the practice…one seed, one bud, one plant at a time; I love the action of moving through it, coaxing and coaching new life and new possibilities. I even like it when I don't do so well, and must frustratingly clip, move or pull up what isn't working. Its ongoing, its real, its active.
· I dig for the outcome…the colors, the textures, the smells. As one who does not consistently prioritize the end over the means -- believing there are times that the intent is paramount or that it is in the means that the prize is to be found -- in my yard, I'm going for the gold.
· I dig to exert myself…for the toil that produces my sweat and tanned skin, strong arms and sore muscles. My professional life is very much a cognitive space of planning, meeting, talking, thinking, and writing. In gardening, I use my brawn and the pain I feel the next day are satisfying, building muscles that I don't use consistently. Even more, my earthen produce is personal and tangible in a way that my professional product is not.
· I dig for my mother and my grandmother…that their legacy continue in me. In a life and time very different from theirs, I honor this thread, affirming our kinship as solidly as our shared DNA, features and peculiar ways
· I dig to learn…about so many things like how the sun moves and water flows; about insects, squirrels and birds; about light and shade. Knowledge I would never gain if I didn't need to. Trivia that not only enables my produce, but interests me and rounds me and even softens me.
· I dig to gain nuance…understanding when to be gentle and when to be tough. Mastering the difference between a pinch, a cut and a prune; between tilling and raking; what's too much and what's too little; when to wait. Subtleties that manifest in my decisions and relationships.
My garden is still very much a work in progress, but at least now I get it. And maybe the next time I'm in Home Depot with the "real" gardeners -- going into full panic at the overflow in my cart and the commitment I am making -- I won't feel so great a perpetrator after all. Maybe I'll smile, understanding why I do what I do, and confident that I will yield just what I need.
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| Shrimp Plant--attracts Hummingbirds :-)!! |
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| Veggies-tomatoes, peppers, cumcumbers and strawberries |
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