A Philanthropy for the Times

The past year of intolerance and evil in our country has me vacillating from distaste to horror to pain.

We’re fast becoming a nation of haters. We’re hating our neighbors. We’re hating our government. We’re hating change and even more we’re hating change makers. We’re hating the rich. We’re hating the poor. We’re hating ourselves.

As a result we’re maiming each other in thought word and deed. One at a time on our streets…50 at a time in nightclubs…1000 at a time in our prisons.

Many are speaking out – in houses of faith, in community. This is so fundamental and essential! Our collective voices have the greatest potential to create collective care. 

Yet changing hearts and minds and behavior is slow, accomplished person by person and place by place. Though powerful and important, it will not catalyze the transformation so urgently needed NOW. This is where philanthropy can and must enter.

Philanthropy - defined here as the dedicated nonprofit organizations on the front line of providing services and the donors (foundations and individuals) who provide critical resources -  is being challenged to think and act differently to create the conditions for change.  

The times are calling for a “new” nonprofit with a significantly enhanced ability to open new vehicles to engage and mobilize diverse players with fresh and unexpected thinking.  A “new” nonprofit unafraid to name and combat inequity and racism and that sees assets in communities where others see deficits. Nonprofits that leap over boundaries between the for-profit, nonprofit and public worlds to create shared vision and innovation… and can turn on a dime with smart, entrepreneurial responsiveness to dynamic cultural, economic and political winds.

Times like this also demand a “new” donor much more expansive and courageous in who and what gets funded for the “new” nonprofits described above aren’t philanthropy’s traditional beneficiaries. They will look and function fundamentally differently and will come with leaders who don’t have – or desire -- all the socially sanctioned endorsements and pedigree that makes donors comfortable. Leaders who hail from the ranks of those they represent -- meaning the voice they speak is their own – and who prioritize their constituents over their beneficiaries.

Even more important than funding the new nonprofits, donors must be willing to extend their unique access and privilege that affirms the value of this "new" approach and secures them the opportunity for success.  

Philanthropy is the sector most capable and responsible for ushering in wholeness and connectedness that can mitigate the hate. It’s what we’re here for.

Where do we start?

“Community cannot feed for long on itself; it can only flourish where always the boundaries are giving way to the coming of others from beyond them — unknown and undiscovered brothers.” Howard Thurman, The Search For Common Ground 

The Stories of Our Lives

I count it as miraculous that every day that we open our eyes we get to write, and rewrite, the story of our lives.

Having just celebrated a birthday, it’s not surprising that I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am and how I got here. And even more, about where I want to go.

Now it’s true that we don’t get to dictate the prologue or earliest chapters of our lives. But once past the beginnings, we do co-create on the table of contents…as life constantly requires that we add to, revise or delete these entries.

Chapter 4: Be an international singing sensation? That one (totally aspirational), was deleted decades ago. Chapter 6: Gift the world two amazing women. Check. Chapter 12: Sign up for the Amazing Race with my youngest, Karima? Hmmm…

There comes a time that each of us has to pick up the pen and begin to compose. And once we do this, we can no longer deny authorship.  We have to own the reality that we get to create the characters in our life story. We choose to insert or delete the drama. We decide when to alter the environment and when compelled, to change direction.

While we don’t get to erase what’s already transpired in our life stories, we always get to write the next chapter. In fact, we keep the pen the whole time, until it’s dropped – or plied – out of our hands!

I’m acutely aware that others will not necessarily write my story the same way I will. It motivates me to be aware of what I do versus what others see. But even more it reinforces for me the necessity of writing my own.

I get sad when I see people - of all ages - slow down or stop their pens – or keystroke or swipes – prematurely. When they decide their story isn’t worth it. That they’re too tired. Too lazy. Too old. Too…

I’m just too curious to see where my pen’s gonna lead me next that I just don’t understand giving up.

But I get it. I’ve only got my story and my pen. And don’t you know I’m gonna keep on writing til I run out of ink.

The Fury Below

Saturday, February 20; 1:15 pm

The Inn at Serenbe

Over the past year, I’ve been trying to give more attention and better care – to myself. Like everyone I know, I get a lot of pressure from multiple fronts. But I’m more acutely feeling…knowing…that this stress this time around is hitting me harder and deeper than ever and cannot be handled in my heretofore energetic, ‘whatever” way. This time there’s a lot more reverberation going on, the kind that might leave me reeling and damaged if I’m not careful.

So I started eating better. And I renewed yet again my commitment to moving my body more regularly. But this is old hat, right? Probably 7 of 10 of us take these actions the first 3 months of each New Year.

I know I need to go further. Deeper. So I committed to asking myself-consistently-why I do what I do and why I do it the way I do it? How much of it is driven from inside and how much is external? And most importantly, who or what I am doing it for?

Strolling today at beautiful Serenbe, I’m coming to realize that there is ferocity within me that I gotta get a grip on. Just like the grounds stretching out around me: although it looks barren and sad, beneath there is a fury of activity going on. There’s buds being formed, dirt being shifted, and life being born. Its happening precisely, routinely, methodically, and scientifically as it does every year. It’s moving according to Spirit’s holy design and brilliant plan, and knows how far and hard to push and pull and stretch as it prepares for what will be a glorious manifestation in the spring. 

I’ve asked Spirit to help with what’s roiling inside me as well. I’m asking for help to mold, shape, and pray it to a place where it serves the greatest good. Where it allows me to act and react in ways that heal and not harm; ways that reverberate with life and love and hope.

And, just like Serenbe, I’m expecting a glorious manifestation too.

"To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism...destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”  Thomas Merton

Lessons from the LIttle Black Dress

All last week I participated in the Little Black Dress Initiative, sponsored by the Junior League of Atlanta. Its intent was to raise awareness of the cyclical nature of poverty. Poverty limits your resources, your options and even the ways you can express yourself--making it harder for you to better your life chances. Wearing one single outfit for an entire week highlighted the effects that limited resources plays on the quality of life. 

I confess to a number of conflicting feelings during the week. Like many of us, clothes are a reflection of who we are and what we want others to believe we are. Your clothes reflect you and my clothes reflect me.

Yet, I was willing to make this choice--imagining a week of righteous solidarity with the working poor, all the while being committing not to go overboard into a parity of the real lives and real struggles for so many who have limited options. I imagined being able to bring knowledge and insight in responce to my request (via my big red button) to “Ask me about my dress”.  I mean really, how was I to show my concern…my intelligence…my sincerity, if you didn’t ask??? 

As I dropped the dress off to the cleaners on Saturday, I was feeling neutral. While I appreciated my colleagues’ reflections on the experience and affirmed their honesty and courage, I had not personally had any emotional moment or aha revelations.

Until Sunday, as I prepared for the upcoming week. I did that common Sunday ritual of reviewing the week ahead and thinking through what I need to do. I’d be traveling out of town for some of the week, so I considered not only clothes for work but also for packing.  Yet I found myself curiously detached. I had plenty of clean pants, blouses and skirts in the closet and Lord knows, way too many shoes. But I didn't  care about matching them to the week’s obligations. It felt like not the best use of my precious day. It didn't  rank as very important. It didn't  seem to matter.  

You see, last week was full of productive sessions and positive interactions for me, both professionally and personally. Over five days in the same black dress, I had made good decisions; broadened my mind; engaged in great dialogue and planning; and connected with important people in my life. I had lived yet another incredibly fortunate week, chock full of opportunities to help make this community better.  

And these experiences had everything to do with what I was able and willing to offer and who I got to connect with and nothing to do with what I was wearing.  

Duh.

I've always been abke to look myself in the eye squarely-- even if I don't always respond the way I should. Last week, since I had predetermined I had little to learn --after all I read these stats as a part of my everyday work, don't I ! -- my real role would be to drop this knowledge on others. Yet I was  reminded that there's always something to learn about yourself and new ways of looking at things. I'm reminded we're all a work in progress, And mostly that everything -and nothing - is about you.

Thank goodness it all got sorted out.  Maybe the next time I get the chance to represent, I'll be more ready.

Equality, Equity and Myth Busting

October 12 was Columbus Day, a day set aside to celebrate America’s discovery. By now we've busted the myth behind the story, revealing a tale laden with avarice and blood, widely divergent from the one that prompted the national holiday. Yet the celebration continues.

This year the Community Foundation for Greater Atlanta began to explore another myth about how people and communities prosper. We’re not alone. Civic leaders as diverse as Angela Glover Blackwell, Jeb Bush and Robert Putnam are introducing terms such as the “Opportunity Gap” and “Equity” into our shared lexicon. They are conceding that the long held myth of hard work and opportunity — the American Dream – does not adequately explain the staggering and growing rates of income inequality that threaten our national security.

Equity, defined as “just and fair inclusion such that all can participate and prosper”, is an essential component of equality, or the lack thereof.  This great picture illustrates the distinction:



The problem is close and personal. According to a Demos study, in Atlanta, the median white household had $111,146 in wealth holdings in 2011, compared to $7,113 for the median African-American household and $8,348 for the median Latino household.  Also, a child raised in the bottom-fifth of income levels has only a four percent  chance of rising to the top-fifth income level.  Our region has an equity challenge that has led to staggering inequality.

Addressing income inequality will require our collective courage to acknowledge historic, pervasive biases and structures, bounded by race and class, which anchor whole families and communities in perpetual poverty.  It requires that we release the myth that providing opportunities for “more” – more scholarships, more training, more food – is all of and not just a part of the solution.  Increasing opportunities that look forward and focus on improving chances that children will attain middle-class or higher incomes in their adulthood is important and good.  But resolving the inequality of Atlanta’s African-American and Latino families who make $100,000 less than their white neighbors means we have to go further and deeper and fix the fault line that prevents all families and communities from sharing in the region’s growth and prosperity.  It means we must recognize the links between opportunity, inequality and history. It means busting a myth we’ve grown comfortable with.

As a region of dreamers, giving up myths is difficult and will demand our consideration, conversation and possibly our conversion.

For the sake of our most vulnerable children and families, its time.

Who Cares for the 96?

A 2013 Brookings Institute study, dubbed by the New York Times as “the most detailed portrait yet of income mobility in the United States”, reveals that a child born in poverty in Atlanta has only a 4 percent chance of moving into a middle income bracket. 

Put simply: 96 of every 100 poor kids in Atlanta today will be poor the rest of their lives.

The study shares some key causes: school quality; social networks; economic and racial segregation. School Quality? Check: Georgia ranks 48 percent nationally for high school graduation. 

Social Capital? Check: Only 13 percent of the region’s residents exchange favors with their neighbors.

Economic and racial segregation? Check:  According to the Pew Institute, both income and residential inequality is prevalent in much of the region.

Atlanta boasts communities that are thriving as well as those that are severely under-resourced and marginalized from opportunity.  Yet while residents from all these communities walk the same streets, cheer for the same teams, patronize the same businesses, and dart through the same crazy rainstorms, there is a horrific distinction. For those who are poor, we have overwhelming data to conclude that their children will be poor too.

How do we grow our capacity to love and support 96 percent of children for whom achievement has never been a given? Whose very lives have been designated for limitation?

It requires fierce honesty and unwavering compassion and commitment across all sectors of the region to change the trajectory for these kids. Yet we fear to commit because it involves tough conversations about the things that scare us most...place and race and equity and compassion. Perhaps our greatest fear is that we'll come face to face with proof of our apathy and neglect.

Children living in poverty are often sad…angry…hurting. This makes perfect sense given the odds against them.  And something tells me they knew it long before Brookings did a study.

The Power of Invitations

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with friends about the difference between what it means to “be invited” and “to invite”. It was a thoughtful discussion that helped me to clarify the two nuanced yet powerful sides of an invitation.

When we are invited – to a conversation or event… even a relationship – the host is affirming our presence as important and our value as an enhancement to the experience.  In addition to being a compliment, it’s an assurance that, if and when we show up, we will be welcomed. Professionally and personally, we often seek invitations to validate ourselves in some way.

Yet while invitations are most often positive and affirming, acceptance is not as easy. What if you don’t know the host? What if you don’t know how you got on the guest list? And one thing you can be sure of…most often, when you are invited…the agenda has already been set.

When we invite others to an experience it means that we are not only extending the positive affirmations listed above, but also that we have something to share. It’s a selective and self-centered perspective, in which we, as the host, determine that a specific presence is needed.

It’s also risky. What if no one accepts? What if the only ones who come are the ones who needed no invitation? What does an unaccepted invitation mean or say about you or your intent?

When it comes to serving our community we've got to be willing to do more of both – issuing invitations and accepting those that come. When we do we acknowledge the need to seek and receive a perspective not our own. As we get better at both inviting and accepting, the circles we inhabit become larger and larger.  We see more, learn more, grow more and create more.

And go more places. Together.